Obama Daughters' New Dog

Today we shout out to Bo, the new dog coming to the White House. He is the Obama daughters' new puppy and I understand he is a gift from Senator Kennedy.

I find him to be very interesting because he is both black and white, like Jake Feral. As you know, Jake is an integrated cat. She is homeless but is being fed by four families! Is that a scam or what?

Anyway, Welcome to Bo!

Jake Feral calls for jail time for Bernard Madoff

AMANDA: Jake, it's time for another conversation. I am outraged that Bernard Madoff isn't in jail.

JAKE FERAL: It stinks indeed, Amanda, but the world isn't always fair. Consider this: I am a feral cat who takes responsibility for ridding the neighborhood of rats and other pests. I am teaching the world about diversity, since I am both black and white -- an integrated cat. Yet I am homeless. I am fed by four families, but I don't have a mommy or daddy.

AMANDA: I suppose when it's all put in perspective, Jake Feral, it's very unfair. Dinner from four families every night may seem excessive to some, but consider all the families Bernie Madoff ripped off. Way more than four!

JAKE FERAL: Exactly, Amandathechow. This is why he wore a bullet proof jacket to court.

AMANDA: There are many animals, including pit bulls, with bigger hearts, Jake Feral. I hope the judge does the right thing.

JAKE FERAL: The web poll we posted speaks for itself, Amanda. The people have spoken.

Martha Stewart's Chow Dies--We Send Our Love

Since I was just a little fur ball, I have been a big fan of Martha Stewart. She did not deserve to go to prison (but some of the bailed out bankers should!) and she is a chow mommy.

Tonight I am sad for Martha because her new puppy was one of many dogs who died in an explosion at a kennel. The dog was so cute and he was being trained by a professional, Karen Tracy. Karen lost her business and her heart in the fire and our thoughts are with her.

Martha's blog has information for all who wish to donate. Any little bit helps. We hope Karen will rebuild and will bring more wonderful chows into the world.

Mommy says the economy is in the tank and the world just isn't right these days. Any time you get to spend with a chow -- any time at all -- makes things better.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with Digital Doug, a Leading Photographer of Models

AMANDA: Thanks for being with us today, Digital Doug.

DIGITAL DOUG: My pleasure, Amanda. I photograph people and dogs for Madison Avenue. I understand you have some questions about your potential as a super model.

AMANDA: Right, Digial Doug. I need to raise money to spay feral cats. I figure I can take advantage of my extreme good looks. Do I have any chance at all?

DIGITAL DOUG: You are beautiful. That's a fact. But sometimes that isn't enough. You have to have "the look" to sell the products. The most successful super models are so stunning, they get your attention. But the more you look, the more you notice some every day qualities and you think, "If I buy what they are wearing, I can look that good."

AMANDA: Where do I get started, Digital Doug? I have already hired Jake Feral as my agent.

DIGITAL DOUG: If Jake is smart enough to be fed by four families, I suspect she is smart enough to come up with a great marketing plan for you. You need to create a digital portfolio with exciting pictures of yourself in different settings -- enjoying some really good dog food, wearing a nice doggie outfit or staying in a dog-friendly hotel. We show it to potential advertisers and they would want you to sell their product.

AMANDA: That will be easy. I have some nice outfits and you know I love all food. I also love sleeping on people-beds. A digital portfolio. Jake and I are on it!

More Conversations With Jake Feral

AMANDA: Hey, Jake! Jake Feral, Merry Christmas.

JAKE: You, too, Amanda. The neighbors gave me some treats. And tell your Mommy I found the smoked Salmon she left outside last night. That was a wonderful Christmas Eve treat.

AMANDA: We are having roasted chicken tonight, Jake. I can't wait.

JAKE: I would like some, Amanda. One of the neighbors is out of town.

AMANDA: Can't you get by just being fed by three families, then, Jake?

JAKE: No, I need some of that chicken. Have I told you how beautiful you are? I know you love to be admired.

AMANDA: You rock, Jake Feral. You will get some chicken tonight. Have you seen this new picture of me with Mommy? She says I am a super model.

JAKE: Look, Amanda. I think you should demand some coinitch for looking so good. Most super models are getting big bucks.

AMANDA: I find that interesting, Jake Feral. While I think it is OK that I don't share my food with anyone, I should share the money I make modeling. It is Christmas, you know.

JAKE: I have an amazing idea. What if I become your agent and then I could take two thirds of everything you make, Amanda!

AMANDA: LOL, Jake Feral! Stealing that much of my income makes you a lawyer, not an agent. You could take seven percent. I believe that's going rate for the agents my Mommy has to deal with.

JAKE: What will you do with the money, Amanda?

AMANDA: I will pay off the Christmas bills, then I will do some charity work, Jake. I had a $30.00 budget for Daddy and I met my goal. I got him some flannel boxer shorts, some nice socks and a warm neck scarf so he can take me on longer walks.

JAKE: What charity could we help with the rest of the money, Amanda?

AMANDA: We will start a foundation so that feral cats can be spayed and then let back into the world. That seems to be a good cause, I think.

JAKE: That would be smart, Amanda. The fewer feral cats there are in this neighborhood, the more food for me! I have to go now so I can find you some modeling gigs. See you tonight around dinner time.

On Pigskin: Go Bucks

November was big in our household this year. Politics, Pigskin and TV news ratings. Mommy is in the news business and she is part of a team that won late news!

But my favorite team is The Ohio State Buckeyes. Daddy and I are big fans. Here we are on Michigan Saturday. The Buckeyes won, 42-7! I think someone got a touchdown. Not sure.

On Politics: My View of the Bailouts

I am a conservative Chow dog, because I don't share my food with ANYONE! But I vote Democratic. Riding the fence, I keep you all guessing.

I must tell you that I am opposed to the auto bailout. Not even Jake is asking for a bailout, and she is homeless!